A friend asked me how my “break” was going. This is the period between one egg retrieval and when the protocol for the next one begins. The truth is, it never feels like there is a break. There is some relief for sure. It is great not to have to think about taking shots twice a day. It’s nice to go on vacation with your family and not have to go to doctors appointments constantly. But your mind is never off of it. Everything I put in my body, I weigh how it may affect my fertility. Every bite or sip is calculated. Have I had a couple of glasses of wine during my break? Yes. Will I eat a bite of real ice cream or have a hamburger with a real bun? Sure. But I carefully think it through, how much and how often. It is pretty crazy when I think about how much my fertility journey has taken over my thoughts. To say it has been all consuming is not really an exaggeration.
A family friend reached out to me after I posted my blog. She is a wholistic nutritionist and offered to help. My husband gets frustrated sometimes because when someone comes to me with advice, I am not afraid to jump right on board. My perspective: I have tried other nutritional plans before. So, why not try something new and see if we get any different results? I changed out almost all my supplements as well. Much of the plan is similar to my previous ones. No gluten, dairy, soy, corn, and all the bad for you ingredients. But on this one, I’ve eliminated protein powder and fat from my morning shakes and am only eating meat at night. I’m actually on day 9 (the last day) of a liver detox where I have eaten enough salad, celery and apples to fill your grocery cart. I’m looking forward to seeing how I feel next week. I hope that this gets both my mind and body ready for the next cycle.
I have talked previously about how infertility care is a rabbit hole. The truth is, if I knew then (when I decided to pursue IVF) what I know now, I may have just tried to conceive on my own again. So far science hasn’t been the answer, but of course my journey isn’t over yet. I looked at my credit card spending from 2018 and $60,000 of it was medical. Keep in mind, I have insurance coverage. I thank God I have a job where I can afford this option. I know women who scrape by to pay for it and even mortgage their homes. As much as I want to whine about it, it’s really a sign of God’s blessing.
My doctors appointments and medications start up right after Easter. On Monday, I’ll start on a short stint of birth control. Next will be ultrasounds, blood draws and shots. I’ll spend the next couple of days calling pharmacies to get all the drugs together. It would be too easy if they all came from one place! They informed me this go round that I’ve officially maxed out on insurance coverage for my drugs so about 60% of my order will be 100% out of pocket. It just felt like another sign that this particular road is coming to an end. I pray there is a baby at the end of it. But if not, I know God has another road in mind for me. And I have to have faith that His plan is better than mine. I have actually started to thank God for this one-on-one time I get to spend with my daughter. I know that WHEN I have another child, my time and attention will be split, so let’s just be grateful for what we have today. Shall we?
I'll go first 